OpEd: Perfect Public Service Jobs

The hard times continue. Still, opportunities seem to squirm out in the open when least expected. This is especially true if you are interested in public service. Here are just a few of the more tasty ones, courtesy of Clark County.

Crave some power? Try the Commissioners office. It has budgeted ten full-time equivalent personnel at an average annual salary/benefit package of $214,380. Sadly, the benefits are a measly 36% of your salary, which is low by County standards. The upside is that you can ignore your constituents and never worry about covering all those little expenses that go with the job.

Let’s try for the big package. Go straight to Environmental Services. You will work with just over 43 full-time equivalent people who earn a whopping average salary/benfit package of $228,645. The benefits portion are an artery-clogging 44.7% of your salary. The only problem might be solid waste management but you can always get the taxpayer to do it as his own expense. It’s the way things get done these days.

Are you really into a first-rate benefits package? Look no futher than the Treasurer’s Office. Get a leg in here and you can expect an annual average compensation package of $158,123, although you’ll probably be a low-ender making much less. They are the Clark County cheapskates. What you will have is the pleasant company of a litte over two dozen fellow counters and lots of prestige. Oh, did I mention that the benefits package is 47.8% of your salary?

Gosh, I hope my numbers are correct. I guess I can always call the Treasurer to check them.

You must carefully consider your personal qualifications. Our County leaders and senior personnel have set a certain standard of behavior that you cannot ignore.

  1. Your first priority will be to keep your job, regardless.
  2. You must never answer a taxpayer question, never make a decision.
  3. You must ignore the telephone, email and all letters from all taxpayers, all the time.
  4. Be unhappy with your job and let everyone know about it.
  5. Always think inside the box. Creativity leads to chaos.

The County has many more opportunities just like these. Go ahead, try and get one.

Michael D. Kelleher

Source: General Government section, Clark County Budget 2010/2011 as published on the Clark County website that you own and support with your tax dollars.

 

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