We all love quotes, especially if they’re attached to a famous name. Well, there’s another side to that thrill. When you’ve lived as a writer for long enough, you get to know other writers pretty well. That leads to some interesting conversations. Over the years, I’ve collected a few fun quotes. They belong (mostly) to unrecognized writers, so you’ll never find them on the Internet.
The writers will remain anonymous. However, a few of these quotes belong to writers who have published several books. Go figure.
I know everything there is to know about writing. I just can’t get it right.
Some of my best ideas happen when I’m on the toilet. Naturally, I’m usually without my pen. It probably wouldn’t matter anyway. The paper is useless.
I didn’t have enough talent to get a job, so I just started writing.
Muse? What muse?
Somebody, in some writing class, told me that “the cat sat on a mat” is some kind of a story. Not much of a plot, if you ask me. Not much of a character, either.
I was tripping out two or three days ago. I was surrounded by all kinds of mythical figures, ghosts, old people, spirits, crazy Indians. Can’t remember all of it. Anyway, in the middle of the trip, Don Juan started giving me lessons about all kinds of spiritual stuff. Suddenly, I woke up. I remembered that I was Carlos Castenada. Then I woke up again and, bang, here I was, all over again. Wow!
I can’t write in the morning. I have no inspiration in the afternoon. By the evening, I’m tired and frustrated. So, that’s my writing schedule. What do you think about it?
You keep telling me to keep writing, that I’ve got what it takes. So, I keep writing, I keep throwing it away, and I just keep on doing it every day. Can’t you give me some better advice?
No, I don’t keep any kind of personal journal. Everything personal goes into my short stories so there’s nothing left over to write about.
He told me to be sure to write 300 words every day. Every day! Can’t I just write the same word 300 times?
Yeah, I’m pretty much finished with my first novel. It’s just missing a beginning, a middle, and an end. Oh, and a few characters I’ve been thinking about.
I don’t worry about spelling or syntax, or any of that stuff. I worry about writing good.
I don’t care whether anybody reads my stuff, so long as I get paid for it.
An agent read my book and said it needs a lot of work. Who does he think he is? I’m the writer.
Darn those readers! They just don’t get it!